When you reach a certain age ( i am not going to disclose that ) and you still have the luxury of occupying both the seats of your scooter…understand, it is not a luxury, it is a situation.
This particular situation may occur for several reasons ,
1…you were an idiot( in past),
2…you were an idiot( in recent past) and
3…you are an idiot ( at present).
Feeling sorry for me ? … so does my TV… that is the only thing getting turned on by me now a days.
Anyway…this is a very peculiar age. Your married friends will try to hook you up with someone, your would be married friends will try to hook you up with someone and then your single friends will also try to hook you up with someone. I understand the pain for first two types.For how many days one can continue dividing the bills by an odd number ? Finally one day you have to take things in own hand. So mathematics drives them, but what drives the single friends ? It is hope. And i hope you understand.
While your friends are trying to set an “arranged affair” for you, your family at the same time is trying something less subtle…”arranged marriage”. Why ? because ‘valuation’ and ‘risk appetite’. They somehow know how various ways their “heera jaisa beta” can fuck things up… hence make him sign on a paper.
Although the end results of the two are same,but … ‘Ego’.
Hence , you are against “Arranged Marriage” by principal but for ‘Arranged Affair’ to have a slow motion pre wedding video. ( this does not make any sense… so please don’t try to make any out of it) Result ? writing nonsense on a Saturday afternoon… alone.
But believe me, loneliness is not an issue on its own. It is an issue only because others are busy. But by now you are already used to being alone, surprisingly so do all the women you grow a liking for. The only difference is, yours is a compulsion, theirs is a choice.
Apparently, the moment you start a conversation with them, they start remembering all the learning from their past relationships,and it will all be applied on you. So you will die waiting for a reply of the message you sent last year and she may not even say Rest in Peace, because they want to stay alone for sometime. What is this ? Notice period ?
It is practically like that ship of which you are the captain, guest and all the other people a ship requires. Every time you tried on-boarding someone it sank like Titanic, upside down. You always wondered why, and this is the age when you realize… it is just a dinghy which you loved to call as ‘relation-ship’. Hence your life kept dangling between a potential ‘life of cutie pie’ and ‘life of pi’.
But what are the possible reasons a ‘ship’ like that sinks ? Let me help find out . After many attempts, this is my conclusion. Foresight.
There are times when you will feel like a magic wand. You come in touch with a lady and you wake up the lady Nostradamus in her , she somehow knows it will not work. Amazing… it is almost like a superpower…because immediately you will feel ‘Avenging’ something.
And in between all these, you have to make a career, stand in ATM queue, act cool on Facebook , understand politics, derivatives, Mamta Banerjees hindi, milking a cow what not.
This is a tough age man… now stop reading this and go get a life.